Like Toy Soldiers
by aLeX24
Summary: Step by step, heart to heart, left right left, we all fall down...rn-warning: character death.-


**Like Toy Soldiers**

-  
_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down... _  
-

-  
_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_  
-

"Daniel, you almost ready?" called the impatient voice of one Jack O'Neill.

"One minute Jack" Daniel answered not looking up from the translation he was working on.

"You said that a half hour ago" Jack's comment was met with silence. He looked at the younger man, hunched over his desk, scribbling furiously in a notebook.

"Daniel."

"One second." Jack rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall by the door. He was already dressed and ready to go off world and had been for the last hour. Much like the other half of SG1 already waiting in the gate room.  
Daniel was prepared as well, yet couldn't seem to pull himself from his work. Typical. Jack sighed and pushed off the wall with his elbow.

"Times up" he said pulling the stack of papers out of the archaeologists reach and placing them on the table behind him.

"Jack!" Daniel's eyes widened and he made for the papers.

"Daniel we have a mission. We'll be back in eight hours you can finish it then."

"I just need five more minutes Jack" Daniel stated looking longingly at the papers behind Jack.

"Daniel, all we have to do is scout the area on PX4–something or other, then you can come back and do your work. All right?" Daniel shot Jack a doubtful look. "I promise."

Satisfied with that, Daniel grabbed his pack and gun holster and left his office, Jack followed shaking his head to himself. He hoped the mission wouldn't go over the time he'd told Daniel; otherwise, he'd never hear the end of it.

-  
_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure  
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders  
I am never supposed to show it, my crew aint supposed to know it  
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter  
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to_  
-

"Incoming traveler!" the technician called as the massive stone ring activated in the room below. General Hammond came to stand behind the young man, and watched the computer screen intently as they waited for an IDC.

"…receiving IDC… Sir, it's SG1!"

"Open the iris" Hammond ordered as he reached for the phone and ordered a medical team to the gate room. SG1 had been gone for only two hours.

As the metal shield opened, energy bursts shot through the gate hitting the wall below the control room. Major Carter came running from the wormhole and pointed her gun at the event horizon. The soldiers in the gate room readied themselves for a fight as well.

Jack came barrelling through the horizon next and was almost immediately followed by Teal'c with a bloody and unconscious Daniel hanging in his arms.

"Close the iris!" Jack called up to the control room. Hammond caught something in O'Neill's voice.

It almost sounded like fear, something Jack was always outwardly absent of. Or perhaps it was the haunted look in his eyes as he caught Hammonds gaze briefly. From the gate room to the control room, the look in Jack's eyes sent shivers up his CO's spine. For the first time since Hammond had met the man, Jack looked helpless.

-  
_I'm supposed to set an example  
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em  
If some shit ever just pops off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em_  
-

Janet Fraiser and her medical staff poured into the gate room and went straight to SG1 who were all situated on the cold, metal ramp. Janet's heart skipped a beat as she saw a very bloody Daniel lying unmoving, surrounded by his teammates. She raced up to them pushing her way to his side, and placed her fingers to his throat as she took in the gaping staff weapon wound on his chest. She felt nothing at first, but sure enough, there was a slight, albeit very slow, thumping against her fingers.

She looked questioningly at Sam who was close to tears, all of her attention on her still friend.

"Let's get him into surgery" she yelled as she helped load Daniel onto a gurney. "What the hell happened?" she muttered as she ran out of the room alongside the gurney.

-  
_And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it  
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted  
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it_  
-

"Colonel O'Neill, what in god's name happened?" Hammond asked as he approached the quiet man. Sam and Teal'c had left the room on Janet's heels.

"Jaffa Sir." Jack replied not meeting the General's gaze. "A whole damn army of them" he replied in a low even voice.

"The UAV showed no sign of human life forms…" Hammond didn't understand how they could have been ambushed.

"Probably just got there Sir" Jack said staring a the empty doorway. "I'm gonna go…" he gestured to the hallway, intent on finding his team.

"Go get cleaned up and checked out Jack, then I want a full report." Hammond ordered.

"Yes Sir."

General Hammond was slightly put off by Jack's drawn demeanour. Even in the toughest situations, the one constant was Jacks bubbling sarcasm. Seeing him so … lost… was alarming to say the least. Maybe Daniel's injury was the straw that broke the camels back. Or finally broke his second in command.

-  
_That was never my object for someone to get killed  
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build  
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good_  
-

Jack walked down the corridor towards the infirmary. He took slow steps, looking forward, but not seeing. There was a feeling, a bad one, gnawing at his insides. Each step grew heavier until he approached Sam, Teal'c and Doctor Fraiser, then his legs just stopped working all together. Their faces stopped him dead in his tracks. All three had turned their heads towards him, and he knew.

-  
_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_  
-

Jack turned abruptly and walked away from their sad faces, and didn't stop until he reached the quiet of the locker room, where he locked the door behind him.  
He leaned against the nearest locker, suddenly finding his legs jello-like, unable to support him any longer. He sunk to the floor, head in his hands, the mission playing in his head.

_-  
"Carter, Teal'c, scout the perimeter… Daniel and I have a date with some rocks" Jack quipped as he and the aforementioned scientist made their way to the extremely weathered ruins near the stargate._

_"This is fascinating Jack! It says that the inhabitants of this planet found a way to-" Jack held up a hand effectively stopping Daniels spiel._

_"I'm sure it's riveting Daniel, but is there anything worth taking back?" Jack asked. He was sitting on a crumbling stone block, absently checking over his _

90.

_"Um… no, but I have a lot of etchings to do of this writing, it's similar to ancient writing and-"_

**_"Sir?"_**_ Sam's voice came through over the radios and once again, Daniel was interrupted. He turned back to his work as Jack responded._

_"Yeah Carter?"_

**_"Sir Teal'c and I have spotted a contingent of Jaffa"_**

_"Peachy"_

_"**I think they're packing up Sir, could be heading to the gate, I suggest we leave before they do**" she said urgently._

_"Alright, fall back to the gate, Daniel and I will be there."_

**_"Yes Sir" _**_Jack looked at Daniel who was watching him curiously._

_"You heard the lady Daniel, we're leaving"_

_"But Jack we've been here for less than two hours" Daniel argued. Jack stood and looked around the area carefully, before fixing his stare on his friend. _

_"Daniel. There are a load of Jaffa here, we need to leave… comprendé?" Daniel sighed and pushed his glasses up on his nose._

_"Shouldn't we wait until they leave?" he asked._

_"I don't want to find out why they are 'leaving' do you?" Jack pointed out. Daniel reluctantly conceded and in a couple of minutes, they were making their way to the gate._

**_"Sir, we've been spotted and are under fire!"_**_ Sam's voice rang out over their radios, and Jack broke out into a run, leaving Daniel with no choice but to follow. staff blasts and zat fire could be heard just over the ridge as Daniel and Jack approached it. They came over the top to see Sam and Teal'c standing before the active stargate fending off the hoards of Jaffa that were storming the area. _

Jack and Daniel made their way down the hill and made a mad dash to the gate. They were almost there when a staff blast shrieked past Jacks head.

_Time seemed to stand still as Jack heard the blast make impact, and almost immediately after, he could smell it. He turned in his step to see Daniel fly backwards, a huge scorched spot on his chest._

_"Daniel!" he heard Sam yell, as she continued to lay down cover fire for the two men. Jack knelt over Daniel and cringed at the sight of his chest beginning to ooze blood from the places that hadn't been instantly cauterized._

_He grabbed Daniels arm and slung it around his neck, half carrying and half dragging his friend to the stargate where Teal'c took up the limp body in his arms. Jack motioned Sam to go through as he fired his gun unforgivingly at the mob flowing towards the gate. _

_"O'Neill, go!" Teal'c shouted over the noise and Jack, with a final glance at Daniel went through the gate, Teal'c hot on his heels._

_-  
_

Jack pushed the heels if his hands into his eyes and sunk even lower to the ground.

Daniel was dead.

_  
-  
We still have soldiers on the front line  
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders  
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us_  
-

"Sir?" croaked Sam's voice through the metal door to the locker room. Jack remained, not answering.

"Sir, please let us in" she called again, knocking heavily. Jack let out a shaky breath and stood with the support of the lockers. He knew if he didn't open the door Teal'c, who was undoubtedly with her, would break it down.

He unlocked the door and stepped aside as it swung open revealing a red-eyed Sam and a sombre looking Teal'c.

"Sir?" she asked softly, not really knowing what to say. She knew he knew what Fraiser had told them. It hadn't been hard to foresee it anyways with the severity of Daniels injury.

Jack just looked at her, his gaze shifted to Teal'c but came back to rest on Sam. She was looking up at him through watery eyes, but he could see the concern in them. Concern for his well being. Jack inwardly snorted. His well being? Hell, he wasn't the dead one. With a final look at each of them he left the room and headed home, without even changing.

-  
_Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is  
But I aint trying ta have none of my people hurt and murdered  
It aint worth it, I can't think of a more perfect way to word it_  
-

Sitting in his home nursing a beer, Jack stared at the television. It wasn't on, yet the images he saw were so real. Daniel's death had jarred old memories loose. Memories of Charlie, Kowalsky, other friends, family and even innocent people he'd seen killed and had killed in battle. He felt tears well up in his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. Daniel didn't deserve to be mourned. He deserved to be celebrated. Remembered.

Jack took the final swig of his beer and placed the empty beside the other half dozen bottles on the table. Running a hand over his exhausted face, he let his hand fall to his lap. He couldn't close his eyes – the images that he saw made his stomach turn. His loyal friend: kind to a fault and never hesitating to help another. Damn, if anything Daniel should be the one alive, not him.

"Dammit Daniel"

Jack hit the arm of the couch, angry that it didn't hurt. He was about to take a swing at the bottles on the table when his doorbell rang. He raggedly got up and went to the door and swung it open ready to yell at whoever was there. But the words died on his lips, as he was a Teal'c and Sam, the latter looking rather dishevelled. He stepped aside and allowed them passage into his house. They both went to the living room, while Jack went and got beer for him and Sam and a juice for Teal'c.

With Jack on the couch, Sam in a chair and Teal'c in another, they sat quietly, each lost in their own thoughts. The silence was deafening however the closeness was necessary.  
Jack raised his eyes from his beer bottle and glanced at his team mates. Sam looked so lost, and Teal'c, it was his eyes betrayed his feelings. Jack sighed. They were his team; it was his job to keep them together. He may have not been able to save Daniel but his duty still held strong to Sam and Teal'c and right now, his team needed him. Debating what to do, Jack stared at his friends for a moment.

"…Remember when Daniel got his credit card bill after Machello switched bodies with him? I coulda sworn that people on Abydos could hear him yell…" Jack said softly, but knew he'd been heard. He saw a small grin form on Sam's face as she remembered that day. A ghost of a smile played on Teal'cs lips as well. They fell into a more comfortable silence once more. Eventually Sam put her beer down, a smile gracing her features,

"I remember this one time…"

-  
_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_  
-

* * *

The song is 'Like Toy Soldiers' by Eminem. – It's not mine and neither are Stargate SG1 and any recognizable characters or ideas from it.

I am still working on my story 'Harbinger of Headaches' but I needed a break from it for a little while, and this just popped into my head…

Thanks for reading!


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